Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
