Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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