That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
