So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
