I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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