I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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