Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize