And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
