I wanna passion pit in your ass
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
