Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
