just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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