if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
