yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
