Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize