we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
