ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
sarcasm needs its own font
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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