five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
