And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
