HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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