No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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