i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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