guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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