i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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