Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize