I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We are all done wearing pants today
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
