the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize