ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
