What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
