just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
