My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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