You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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