My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
