when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
