Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
