..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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