I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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