Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
