So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
