fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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