We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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