best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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