Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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