just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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