do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
