She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
