so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
