GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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