all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
