when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
