Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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