Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
