So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
