I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
