To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
