I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
