Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
