my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
