I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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