She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
