normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
