i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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